


Finding Baz

by Pai61



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M, My oh my, Rewrite, SnowBaz, baz is gay, front seat is for people that haven't been kidnapped by fucking numpties, redo, simon is something, snowbaz is awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 17:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pai61/pseuds/Pai61
Summary: What if Simon found Baz before Fiona did?BTW: I own none of the mentioned characters in this fic, they all belong to amazing and cool Rainbow Rowell, and I am making no profit off this fic. I do not intend to infringe upon copyright.





	Finding Baz

**Simon**

I look out of the closed window. I haven't been able to bring myself to open it because Bad isn't here. Baz hasn't come back, and it's driving me crazy because I thought he was plotting. Now, I'm just concerned, so much that I can't even think about why I am concerned. I am so hot but if I open that window all I will think about is Baz, not that I don't already do that. I know he is out there, but is he safe, is his dad giving him a hard time, does he miss his mum, is he plotting my demise? I don't know, because for the first time, he isn't here for me to keep an eye on him. And for some reason that upsets me, and not like it should. Penny got pissed at me two weeks ago for flunking a test because I was too busy thinking about Baz. We haven't talked since. It's messing me up even more. The two most important people in my life left me. My enemy and my best friend. I dumped Agatha after the first week that Baz didn't show up. She didn't mind, she still talks to me. It's refreshing. We are still the same, even if we aren't dating. It's midnight when I check the clock, and suddenly, Baz's absence is too much. The magick  comes to me so easy I'm almost shocked.  **Cold sheets/ but where's my love/ I'm searching high/ I'm searching low in the night** I sing. I hum the rest and I feel the magick   flow through me, so smoothly Baz would be proud. I feel a tug in my gut and I open the window and step out. Wings and a tail unfurl behind my and I let my magick  carry me. I beat my wings hard and I can feel my magick start to slip. I drop to the ground. Numpties surround me and I let my magick flow through and out of me. They crumble to the ground and I race to a coffin in the corner. I pry it open and cry in relief when I see Baz, but I sob when I see he looks too pale to be alive. I pick him up and as I am sobbing I let my wings carry us home. I catapult through the open window tucking my wings in and cradle Baz as we fall. I put him on the bed and then run out of the room. I get to the kitchen and grab everything I can find. I race back with my arms full and my magick  opens every door for me. I feel the blood pound in my ears. When I get to the room I sob and pour every healing spell possible into him, letting all my magick bleed through my hands into his. He starts breathing again. He opens his eyes and I take that moment to give him water and most of the food I brought up. I rip it into little pieces and feed him slowly, tenderly holding him up. Even if he is pale and thin and ratty, his eyes are still their grey. So grey. I look at him as I cry and when he falls back asleep I collapse beside him. I hold him in my arms until I pass out. I wake up to Penny screaming.

She is pointing at me and I realize my wings and tail are still out and I am cuddling with Baz. But I couldn't care less about the situation, because Baz still hasn't woken up. I look at Penny.

“Levitation charm. Now!” she nods, for once silent and together we take him to the infirmary. I tremble every time I look at him, and I feel like never letting go. I won't. Not when he needs me. I hold his hand as the nurse comes and checks on him, and I never let his hand go. She looks at me with pity. And I don't understand. We hate each other. But here I am, holding his hand after I sang a song about love and killed numpties to save his vampiric ass. I try not to think about it but that just leaves staring at Baz and I can't. He looks so pale. Almost dead. And it hurts. So I have to think. If I grew song and flew over half of bloody London for an enemy, then he really isn't one, is he? And if I gave my magick  to him, and it hurt to see him like this, like a void similar to the humdrum's magic, then I have to care right? But that burning in my heart,that need to have him close, the love song, I must like him. Romantically. But I'm not gay? Right? I think so hard it hurts (not nearly as much as when I look at Baz though). I come to the conclusion that I don't care. I like Baz. I… I love him. And he's dying. I'm such a useless idiot if I can't even save the monster I love. But he isn't a monster. He's just a boy. Just a poor, unfortunate, brilliant, beautiful, amazing boy. And he's dying while holding my hand. I can't save him. I start sobbing and clutching his hand harder. 

“Baz, please, please don't leave me. Don't leave me, Baz please, wake up.  **Wake up. Wake up.** ” I try. My magick  is pulling at the surface. “ **But high up above or down below /When you are too in love to let it show /Oh but if you never try you'll never know /Just what you're worth/Lights will guide you home /And ignite your bones /And I will try to fix you** ” I cast, still crying and holding Baz. 

“Si? Did you just cast a love song? For Baz?I didn't know you were gay” I barely hear Agatha from behind me.

“Hush Aggie, let's leave Simon alone, I think he figured it out” Penny drags Agatha out. I'm still sobbing when Baz coughs. I sniffle and I hold his hand tighter. He looks at me

“Crowley, I'm living a charmed life. I'm dead. And Simon bloody Snow is holding my hand and crying over my dead body. Crowley” he says and I laugh. I jump on the infirmary bed and hug him. When he doesn't hug back I realize he must still think we are enemies. I immediately launch myself back to the foot of the bed.

“Ummmmm, I'm sorry. I probs should have asked if I could just jump on you, I just forgot that even if I have feeling it doesn't mean you do and now I'm just rambling oh crap now you know I love you damn you probably hate me even more I'll go now,” I mumble and stumble out awkwardly. I wish Baz would call me back and then we could snog or just hold hands or anything really. But he doesn't. He lets me leave. Every night, when he's asleep I peek in. I talk to cook Pritchard and make sure he always eats enough. He doesn't see me, but I'm always there. At Penny's insistence I go to class and study, but I sleep at the library and creep in before Baz wakes up to shower and change.  **Quiet as a mouse** is my favorite spell nowadays. I only see him at meals and at our shared classes, and I can't help but stare at him, and then proceed to leak sorrowful magick  to those around me. I get looks of pity from Penny, who still complains about my obsession, but not that much. Aggie barely notices. I can't help this huge rift in my heart. The hurt is unbelievable. Bad is untouchable, so perfect, so gorgeous. He's intelligent, witty, an amazing mage. I love him. Even when he's an arsehole. Although, I so notice he's depressed, glum even. He doesn't talk or laugh or here. He's just quiet. Sad. Maybe he's disappointed he won't get to kill me after all. I'm too pitiful. I look down at my scones. I can't even manage to find an appetite. Even when the butter is melting and glistening. It's almost disgusting. I look up and see Baz watching me. I grimace and get up. Leaving quickly with an empty stomach. I race out leaving a sighing Penny and an oblivious Agatha. I run to the room I haven't been in for more than an hour at a time. I run in and close the door behind me. Collapsing against it. Two weeks worth of pent up longing breaks out and I cry. I hear a pounding on the door and I bolt straight up as it flies open. Baz looks at me.

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course. I love you.” I close my eyes waiting for the punch, but all I feel are soft cold lips on my burning chapped ones. I clutch Baz and pull him so close there is no space between us. I pull away to breathe but our lips never stop touching. We pant and collect ourselves.

“I'm a terrible boyfriend” I tell him.

“Oh” he says and starts to pull away. I pull him back into my arms.

“But I want this. I want to be your terrible boyfriend.”

“I want that.”

He says smiling. I grin back at him and attack him once more with my mouth.

I like this so much better than fighting.

**Penny**

Agatha leans away from the door and hands me 20 euros. 

**_Fin_ **


End file.
